The Struggles of Being Single in This Generation

To someone who has spent a huge part of his/her life being single, this is a hundred percent for you for I know the struggles of being single in this generation. And I also know how hard it can be. How are you holding up?

So, have you found your soulmate? Or are you still looking for your “The One”? In this world with more than 7 billion people, pretty sure there are still a lot of single ladies and gentlemen out there. You just have to take a closer look. Maybe they are living a low-key life away from all the drama. So, to every beautiful SINGLE soul out there, I wrote something for you to let you know that somehow, someone knows what you might have been through at some point in your life. 

Every mundane day, we struggle to keep up with everything in our lives like work in general and life itself. I know it could be draining and exhausting. On top of that, you get to witness everybody around you pair off and falling in love. People in love wouldn’t get to feel how painful it is to be surrounded with all these “relationship goals”. Life sucks, huh?

Here are some of the things that single people might one way or another struggle with:

1. Having to deal with pressure

Yup! Pressure. Single people, you know how it is when everyone around you is worried about why you don’t have a significant other and they keep on pointing it out like you don’t know that already. Everywhere you go, there is always this someone who would wonder why you’re alone especially at restaurants, pubs, bars, beaches, churches, you name it and maybe even when you’re at the bottom of a volcano. Having to deal with all this pressure, it’s draining. 

Some may be kind enough not to say it in your face, but you know they would ask someone else. Don’t get me wrong. I know they mean well and they are not trying to be offensive but sometimes, you get sick of it. It makes you feel like you’re missing a limb or whatever part of your body. Other people may hint at some excitement that you’re missing. And here comes the PRESSURE of finding someone to put a stop to all that. Sometimes, no amount of positive thinking and mantra would get you through bad days and rainy days.

LIFE IS already HARD as we speak, but people will make it look even HARDER when you’re single. People will always have something to say and they will talk. So, LET THEM. And you? You just have to be BEAUTIFUL.

2. Dealing with judgement

I already told you some are kind enough not to say it in your face, but you meet people who aren’t nice. They would look at you with judgement in their eyes. You can see the prejudices forming at the back of their minds. Makes you wonder, “Why is it such a big deal these days?”, “Have I committed a sin of not having a boyfriend/girlfriend?”, “Why does it have to be THE one-million-dollar question?”  Sometimes, you’re to forced to wear a mask while dealing with judgement. 

And yeah, because you are SINGLE, you’re accused of having VERY HIGH STANDARDS. They would even tell you to lower them a bit so you could find someone. What’s wrong with having one, anyway? Back up for a second, don’t tell these SINGLE people to “not be picky” because all of you who are in a relationship chose THAT person to be in your life. Haven’t you? You are just lucky enough to have found them ahead of other people.

So, you, beautiful soul? You keep on rocking the single life. Keep the judgement coming and be who you want to be.

3. Questioning/Doubting Yourself  

During bad, rainy and hormonal days my love, I know all these judgement and pressures are getting under your skin, so you question your self-worth, you doubt your abilities and yourself. You ask God, “Why?” Now, you blame yourself and those who have hurt you before because they’ve changed your outlook and ideals in love. You become a bit of a pessimist and more of a realist. You’ve grown.

But I’m telling you to hang on because your day will come. You have a different timeline than the others. Find your passion and be on fire. Do the things that quench the thirst of your soul. Find that peace and when you do, LET LOVE FIND YOU.

4. Being compelled to look strong and independent

I know you want to put a stop to all the questions and interrogations about how you’re still single and all that, so you force yourself to look brave and independent because it’s a lot easier than explaining. You let other people see that you can make it on your own without depending on someone. Of course, YOU CAN. But it wouldn’t stop you from wanting to have someone to lean on at times of difficulties and someone who you can turn to in times of loneliness. Talk about being lonely.

You try to be cheerful at work and everything’s okay in your life. You look blooming and happy but at the end of the day, when you are alone in bed, that’s when you thirst for connection. A deep one. Not some fling and immature relationship but a genuine one. So, you, pretty soul, needs to suck it all up and be the queen/king that you are.

Maybe, on the other side of the world, someone is as desperate as you are.

5. Feeling like a TABOO  

Since when did it become a sin or a crime to be single? Why is this often a reason to be bullied? But people will make it look like you’ve done something really bad because you’re single. When you’ve reached the standard age to get married and still has no one, people are going to talk like it’s your fault. What if the last number of the calendar is waving at you? Oh yeah, they would point it out like it’s the end of the freaking world. When you’re at an event surrounded with people with plus ones, you can’t help but feel like a left-out or a taboo.

My dearest love, it’s normal to feel these things. That makes you human after all. But you will have your time. I know you’re STRUGGLING but remember that you’re a good person with a benevolent heart. Someday, someone would notice that overflowing love you have for yourself. You are already complete. All you must do is wait for that person to whom you will share your completeness with. Despite what other people say, YOU OWN YOUR LIFE and you’ve got to be the one to decide what makes you happy. NO ONE. JUST YOU.   

If you want to read more of these click this link. What We Need is Kindness

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